Just one bean is all it took for Jack to start his adventure. Just one bean, growing faster than logic would dictate, higher than possible up into the clouds. He traded that dried up old cow for a promise of magic. He traded it for the unknown. He traded it for a new life.

I am hoping to do the same.

Mr. Jelly Beana and I are headed to the RE on Wednesday. That is the Reproductive Endocrinologist for the uninitiated to the world of infertility. I’m going to try to trade in my dried up cow for a magic bean. A magic belly bean for Mr. and Mrs. Jelly Beana. One that will grow faster than logic would dictate and who will send us higher than possible up into the clouds.

I’m not sure where we are in the journey of a thousand miles. The aphorism dictates that it begins with one step, but I’m not sure if we’re at step one or mile 501. We’ve been married for 10 years, in love for 13. Mr. JB and I are friends, too, a fact which has been the saving grace on many an occasion. We’ve been trying to expand our family for around 5 years now. 2 spent taking temperatures and charting signs every morning on our own. 1 was spent being poked, prodded, examined, vampired and emotionally drained. 2 more were spent getting young again, healing the wounds of that central year and shoring up our defences for another go. I’m sure I’ll talk about those last three years more, but for now I am simply happy to be moving forward.

So we’ll meet the doctor. We know the drill. There will be unpleasant monitoring, crazy inducing hormones, talk of a safe house for Mr. JB, many tears. I hope there are also some laughs, leaning on one another, more laughs and either a Manhattan or a baby at the end of the month. I look forward to either, though not equally.

This blog will be about my life. My stupid ovaries are just one little part of that, although they will be a featured player much of the time. My work, my loves, my interests, my passions, my family keep me firmly attached to the ground. My greatest failing the last time around was that my life was all about my infertility. The other parts fell away and I drifted. I won’t let that happen again.