Posted by: katarinajellybeana | March 21, 2008

I am a breathing timemachine



Last night we had birthday dinner with Mary and Princess Perfect.  Illness has filled their house recently, so I hadn’t seen them in almost two weeks, save a quick lunch with Mary.  When I got in the car, Princess (age 3) was so beside herself with joy that the first intelligible words out of her mouth were “I love you, Katarina!”  Massive ego boost for someone who  has been having a week of feeling like a failure in several aspects of life. 

We went to the local Pie Hole where I ate too much and ended up sick and heartburny, but it was SOOOOO worth it.  Today is Mr. JellyBeana’s birthday, so we celebrated with me calling in sick for work this morning, letting him have the afternoon for baseball napping and then tonight will be an ultra fancy dinner of pizza at our favorite other kind of Pie Hole. 

I’m feeling very thankful and nostalgic today.  Reaching a 2 month anniversary feels very Junior High to me.  Like I should be getting a little white teddy bear holding a red rose during homeroom. 

I’m thankful that Mr. JB has been so radically outstanding.  Yesterday, on his vacation day, he totally gutted the fridge and scrubbed every surface so I could open it again.  He has confirmed that I can quit any time I want, provided I find a way to make sure we don’t eat out most nights like we do now.  Yep.  Got me a keeper. 

I’m thankful that Mary Perfect loved her birthday gift of a big box of Sci.ent.ology books and movie gift certificate.  She got Mr. JB a bottle of good bourbon and a movie gift certificate for the same theatre.  She also brought baby a present…a whole bag of goodies for taking care of me and one sweet little baby bib.  I cried.  Everything seemed so much more real when someone gives you a thing for the thing growing inside you.

I am thankful that Mary Perfect’s story of Preggo Brain was worse than what I’ve experienced so far.  She sat on the couch one day, sobbing, because she thought she’d never be able to read a book again because she wouldn’t be able to follow the story.

I’m thankful that SoccerMan keeps such different hours than I do, so he’s available for 4am phone calls and willing to listen to me complain about work when I can’t sleep.  We also reminisce about the old days.  He and I have such a funny friendship.  We’ve only been in one anothers presense 11 days or so in our lives, but the friendship we built with letters penned on yellow legal pads endured, even with a 10 year hiatus.  Few letters pass between us now…and I miss them quite a lot.  But the frequency with which we confirm the other actually exists is worth the trade. He’s a good friend, always with my best interests at heart.  I am the same for him. 

I’m thankful that my former student got a real live grown up job after 9 months of looking.

I’m thankful that my review was Ok.  Not great, but I knew it wouldn’t be.  Easy things to fix (or continue doing and finally get them noticed, she notes bitterly).  But it also highlights that this isn’t the right job for me any longer.  Too much routine, too little thinking.  I’ve got almsot all the problems of the position solved and fixed.  There are no challenges left. I need creative outlets, I need ideas, I need thoughts.

I’m thankful that the students I have working for me over break have been so amazing and hardworking.  The main burr under my saddle is gone now thanks to their work.  I’ve got plans to reward them.

I am thankful that the Avett Brothers have created this song. The lyrics blow me away.  So sexy, so simple, so brilliant.  I am transported to my youth.

I am thankful that I have hit one of those risk-dropping milestones. 8 weeks.  2 months.  Small sigh of relief. 

Next stop: Ultrasound Tuesday.


  1. What a lovely post. Full of brightness and gratitude. You sound like you are in such a nice place at this moment. It is so great to read.

  2. I’m so glad you’re appreciating everything to the fullest. It’s absolutely beautiful.

  3. I am thankful for meeting you and that you have had a wonderful day. Congrats on 8 weeks withmany more to come

  4. Glad all things are well and that you are moving right along. 8 weeks is just marvelous. Makes me giddy. I hope you are relaxing this weekend.

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